South Park 1: The SuperDevil Incident
by NightingaleLost
Summary: She fell into a world very different from what she was used to, and by her arrival, changed the course of history in the town of South Park. Can a group of familiar faces help stop the SuperDevil himself?
1. Meet Robbie

She growled in frustration. Her computer was acting up _again_!!

"Dammit! How the hell am I supposed to see something if it won't even load?!?"

She hit the table,careful to do so away from the computer. The machine was very fickle,turning off if you even _touched_ it the wrong way. She sighed, leaning back tiredly. It was already close to midnight and she had to go to school tomorrow. A groan issued from the bed behind her.

"Jesus, woman, are you still on there? Are you even gonna _go_ to sleep today? You're gonna regret it tomorrow." Her sister poked her head from underneath the sheets, blinking owlishly. She yawned. "Make sure you leave it on stand-by, okay? I have to print something out tomorrow, and I don't wanna wait for the piece of shit to turn on."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." The other girl sighed.

"Well, make sure you remember it." The sister yawned again, turning back into the covers.

"'Night, Robbie." She called, her voice slightly muffled.

"Goodnight, Tammy." The girl sighed again, turning back to the computer. It _was_ pretty late,she mused. She quickly saved her stuff, pressing the 'stand-by' button, and waited for the screen to go black. Turning off the monitor, she changed into more comfortable clothing, slipping quietly into bed. Her thoughts turned over in her head, booting out any sleepiness she might have had. Work was getting more difficult at school, and she was having trouble keeping up with it. Already, she was behind on her English essay on how rhetoric related to the credibility of literature.

A loud snore interrupted her thought process, causing her to turn away from her sister. It was amazing how quickly the younger girl could fall into the abyss of dreams. She envied her sister, envied the almost casual laziness in which she went trough the world. Nothing was too hard for her, getting it done was only a matter of how soon they wanted it to be finished. She found herself thinking on how easier life would be if they were all in a cartoon. Life would definitely be easier then. She chuckled in the dark silence as her mind took her to her favorite show, _South Park_. That, she wouldn't mind being in, if only for a minute.....

_**------hi!!ih------**_

___She walked in a darkness so black and infinite the very notion of light did not exist. It pressed upon her, but surprisingly, the pressure was neither harsh nor evil. It was instead a warm comfort, a blanket gathered against the cold, like the soft embrace of a mother's arms to a newborn child. It pulsed with power, a power of creation and new beginnings. She could not see herself, and she wondered if she even existed. Taking another step, the ground fell away beneath her, and she gave herself to the darker blackness of unconsciousness. _

_**------hi!!ih------**_

"Cartman! Cartman! Where the hell are you??"

"What the fuck do you want, man!?" Cartman yelled, shoving his head out of his window.

"Just come on man!! It fell from the sky!!" Stan jumped up and down in agitated impatience.

"Alright, alright, I'm going! Stupid fag..."

The door opened, and Stan grabbed Cartman's hand as he stepped out, dragging him hurriedly down the street.

"Dude, what the fuck! I'm not a faggot like you, let go! Where are we going?" Cartman yelled.

"My house, you fat tub of lard! Now shut up!" Stan retorted.

They burst into Stan house quickly after, and Kyle met them at the door.

"Dude, what the hell took you so long?"

"Fat-ass here can't run at all." Stan replied sharply.

"Aw, fuck off, man! Why the fuck did I have to run?" Cartman snapped. Just then they heard Kenny's voice coming from Stan's room.

"(Guys,she's awake!!)"

"Come on, Kenny says she's awake!" Stan said excitedly. Stan and Kyle took off to his room, Cartman puffing behind.

"Who the hell is 'she'?!"

They entered around his room, crowding around his bed. A girl lay there, clothed in a small gray shirt and fluffy pink snowflake pajama pants, glasses perched on her nose. Suddenly she rolled over,eyes open and blinking.

"Wha...?" she moaned.

"Is that all? Dude, I've seen tons of girls before! What's so special about this bitch?" Cartman asked snidely. The girl sat up straight at his voice, saying,

"Cartman? Is that you?"

He stared at her, slack-jawed.

"Creepy, right?" Stan whispered to him as the girl looked around blearily. "I was over by Stark's and I heard something in the sky and the next thing I know, WHAM!! She fell into the snow. So I went over, and I thought she was dead but then she moved a bit so I called Kyle and we brought her back here then called Kenny,and she woke up for a little bit, and called my name, then she went back to sleep and I went to get you." Stan took a deep breath, finished.

"Dude, that's just weird." Cartman said. Then the girl caught their attention again.

" Stan? Kyle? Kenny? _Cartman?_ Are you guys real? Am I dead?" She asked in awe.

" Yeah, we're real. Who are you? How do you know our names?" Kyle stepped forward.

"_How do I know your names!? _You guys are my favoritest people ever!!" She squealed happily.

"(Are you from the real world?)" Kenny asked.

"What?" The girl stared at him.

"He asked if you're from the real world." Stan explained.

"No, I got that. What do you mean, the real world?" She shook her head, as if confused, but her expression told the group she knew perfectly well what they were referring to.

"(Don't fuck with us girl, you know what we mean.)" Kenny said exasperatedly. "(We mean the world were our creators are.)"

The girl glanced at him suspiciously.

"What do _you_ know about it?"

The group rolled their eyes as one.

" We know that we're cartoons. We're not stupid,dude." Cartman sighed wearily, with the tone of someone speaking to a slightly retarded child.

"Yeah. I mean, look at Kenny." Kyle pointed to him. "He dies almost every day, and he still comes back."

"Either he's God, or we're in a cartoon." Cartman continued.

"And we know he's not God, 'cuz God can't die in the first place, y'know?" Kyle finished.

"And obviously, Kyle here is our _leading expert_ on God and all matters Jew-wise." Cartman said almost lazily.

"Shut up, fat-ass." Kyle snapped. The girl stared at them, then at her own hands, as if seeing them for the first time.

"Holy motherfucker, where's a mirror!?!" She yelled suddenly.

"Uh, there's one in the bathroom..." Stan said helpfully.

"Where's the bathroom?" She asked, in a 'duh' voice.

"Down the hall to the right." He pointed.

The girl was off like a bullet, and a slam could be heard as she ran into the bathroom. A few seconds later, a scream was heard, and she flew in to Stan's room again, hugging Kenny so hard she lifted him straight off the ground.

"I'M IN SOUTH PARK!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" She yelled joyfully, twirling Kenny around in dizzy circles.

"Dude, how old are you?" Cartman snorted disdainfully.

"To you guys, I'm 16, to any adult that asks, I'm 9." The girl replied happily.

"Jesus, not only are you annoying, but you're short too..." Cartman said cheekily. The girl stopped, putting down the dizzy Kenny, walking the short distance to Cartman. Without any warning, she pulled back a fist and punched him straight in the kisser, letting him fly away and down.

"Short and annoying I may be, but I can still kick your ass, tubby, so watch out." She smiled.

Cartman lay on the floor, his fat limbs waving in the air. There was stunned silence from the other three boys, then they suddenly broke out laughing.

"Oh my God, did you see his face?" Stan chortled.

"That...that was _awesome_! Fatass finally...g-got what he deserved!!" Kyle gasped out between giggles.

"(He fell like a fat cow!!)" Kenny said, and that only made them laugh harder.

"You fucking fags!! Help me get up! Stupid bitches!!!" Cartman yelled from the floor, like an overturned turtle.

The girl offered him her hand and he took it resentfully, fully aware he couldn't lift himself, but snatched his own hand away as soon as he was standing.

"W-what's your name?" Stan asked, wiping tears away from his eyes.

"Robbie. This is so cool. I was going to sleep, then I woke up here. How awesome is that?!? Yes to karma!!!" Robbie hugged Stan tightly, planting a kiss on his cheek. Stan's cheeks puffed out.

"Oh, shi-" He never got the rest out, as he proceeded to puke up the contents of his stomach on Robbie's shirt. She pulled away, staring down at the green and brown mess, while the others just stared at them. Finally she looked at Stan.

"Can you get me some clothes, please?"

_**------hi!!ih------**_

The four guys sat in Stan's living room. Robbie had kicked them out to change, so now they were waiting.

"Dude, that girl is freaked up in the head." Cartman muttered darkly, nursing a split lip. Though his words weren't meant to be taken in a nice way, he felt the faint stirrings of respect in his meager heart. Force was always the way to go in his point of view, whether verbal, mental or physical, and that Robbie girl certainly knew how to use _that_.

"Not bad-looking, though." He admitted.

"(Mm-hmm)" Kenny agreed. He could still feel the imprint of the the girls chest on his. Jesus, he loved hugs...and other things...3

Kyle stared at Stan. He sat silent on his couch, staring out into space. Kyle wondered if he should comfort him or something. Then again, did he even _want _ to be comforted? Kyle sighed inwardly, sinking into a dark mood. This was all so hard.

A cheery whistle drew all their attentions to Robbie, coming down the stairs into the living room. She had on a black and red hat, a fuzzy red parka and pants, both trimmed with black, complete with black mittens. All in all, she looked like a black and red Santa.

"Jesus, Stan, you actually have these faggy clothes in your closet?" Cartman snorted. "You're more of a fag than I thought."

"No, those aren't mine. I've never seen them before." Stan shook his head. "Where'd you get those?"

"From somewhere." Robbie said smoothly. "Yours didn't fit, so I got these."

"(But from where?)" Kenny asked.

"Man, this is South Park! I can do whatever the hell I want in here. This is my _element_!!!" She grinned.

The others could only nod. South Park had been home to stranger things, after all.


	2. Yay, Explosions!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD I FEEL SO LOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (pant pant pant)

I'm good. But dude! This is my first fanfic I've ever uploaded or even let anyone see other than my sister and it was such an incredible rush to have someone like it and put it on a story alert and it was so totally amazing so much that words just can't describe it and-

(chokes on no air, face blue)

(wheeze wheeze)

It was amazing. Keiko Murikami, this update is totally for you.

Chapter Two

Robbie stayed the night over at Kenny's, saying she'd always wanted to see where he lived. They had walked off together, Cartman muttering, "Manwhore...", under his breath. The next day, however, Kenny reported, really rather sadly, that nothing had happened.

Now they waited for the bus, Robbie jumping excitedly next to them. When it finally came, they all trooped on, the bus driver paying no attention to the new girl. Butters smiled at her when she sat next to him, leaving the others to their own customary spots.

"Well, howdy! Are'ya new here?" He asked cheerfully.

"Oh my God, it's Butters!!!" Robbie breathed.

"Thas' me, alright!!" He giggled.

With a happy squeal, she threw herself on him, hugging and cuddling every inch she could get to.

"Oh, Jesus, m-my parents say I can't do this, or I'ma get g-grounded!!" Butters protested, his face red and blushing.

"Screw your parents!! You're the cutest thing since kittens and buttons!!!" Robbie planted a kiss on his cheek playfully, squeezing tighter. Butters continued to struggle, but said nothing else in the contrary to her actions. After all the crap he took at school, he'd rather get a week of grounding than pass this up. Goodness knows why this girl would want to hug _him_, but he wasn't about to complain. He actually felt loved.

_**------hi!!ih------**_

__Throughout the rest of the day, Robbie followed the other four through their classes. The teachers had expressed surprise and suspicion at the new arrival, but were quickly put at ease by Robbie's easy lie that she was a visiting student looking to transfer to their school.

She didn't really pay attention to the classes much, anyway. She was too busy juggling notes from Stan, Kenny and Cartman. Stan wanted to know what _really_ happened in the real world, Cartman wanted to get more ideas for more get-rich-quick schemes, and Kenny wanted to know how well the strippers were paid over there. The only one who wasn't very happy was Kyle, sneaking covert looks in her direction when he thought that she wasn't looking. Again, they were all caught up in her, and Kyle didn't like it. For a very specific reason. Robbie, not being an idiot like most people, could guess what it was and already had an idea on how to fix it.

After school, she asked them to show her around the school, and they agreed. Heading toward the classrooms, they carefully sneaked into Mrs. Chokesondik's classroom, peeking at school test answers and basically trashing the classroom. Even Kyle joined in.

Everything was going fine, until Kenny found the nitroglycerin.

"(Guys! Come here!)" He called.

They crowded around him,as he held up the jar of the amber yellow liquid. Kyle read the label, and backed way very quickly.

"Dude! Put that down! Don't you know what that stuff is?!"

"What is it?" Robbie asked worriedly. She wasn't close enough to read the label, and after Kyle's reaction, she wasn't about to either.

"That's nitroglycerin!! That's the stuff they put in bombs!!" Kyle stammered.

"Bombs?! Why the hell is this here?" Stan asked.

"Hmmmm..." Cartman mused. He turned to Kenny.

"I'll give you 100 bucks if you light that on fire."

"(Deal.)" Kenny said instantly. Like hell he was passing up a chance to make a hundred bucks!

"Whoa whoa!!" Stan exclaimed. "You can't do that! This stuff is dangerous!!"

"He can do it if he wants to." Cartman retorted. Robbie put up her hands, saying,

"Wait. How about this?"

So, 20 minutes later, they were crouched outside in the snow, behind a makeshift shield that was the teacher's desk. A super long string lay between them and the nitroglycerin. Kenny patted his pockets, bringing out a small lighter. He flicked it open, releasing a little yellow-blue flame. They squeezed themselves deeper into the snow behind the table. Kenny pressed the flame to the string, quickly setting it aflame and way toward its destination.

Seconds passed. Cartman finally whispered,

"Maybe one of us should go check on the stri--"

_**BOOOOOM!!!!!**_

__The entire school exploded outwards, sending all of them and their desk flying backwards. They landed in snowdrifts harmlessly. Kenny, however, was not so lucky.

As he got up from the snow, a piece of flaming debris struck him and he was set on fire, screaming.

Robbie lunged at him with the speed of a leopard and tackled him to the ground, putting him out. The others clustered around him, watching nervously as she climbed off of the slightly smoky, but fully alive, Kenny.

"Oh my God, Kenny didn't die." Kyle said in awe.

"Whoa. That's never happened before." Stan commented.

"Dammit!" Cartman swore. "Now I actually have to pay him."

Kenny threw a snowball at his head.

"Guys, look." Robbie pointed to where the school had been. The entire thing was gone, only a fiery crater leaving any proof that the school had even existed in this spot. Debris lay everywhere, and some of the trees around them were on fire. They all stood silently, watching their handiwork, when a voice spoke behind them.

"_YOU!!_"

They all spun around, and found themselves in front of Mrs. Chokesondik. Her eyes glowed red and her voice was deep and strange.

"I saw what you did! You will not get away with this!!" She hissed, taking out a large knife from nowhere and lunging at them. They all leapt away, screaming. Cartman tripped over his feet, and as he fell, the teacher tripped over him. She fell, into the snow, her massively droopy boobs flying up over her face.

"Come on fuckers!! Hold her down!" Cartman yelled. They all piled on her, securing her her arms and legs. She screamed and bucked, but to no avail. Soon, her movements stopped.

Robbie peeled one of her boobs back from her face.

"Guys, I think she's dead."


	3. Demons, Pizza and a Hint of Style

Yes! I brought her ass back, just to kill her again!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ahhh, I'm so sadistic. Then again, what writer isn't in some way?

**Disclaimer: Me no ownie. Duh.**

* * *

"What do you mean, dead?" Kyle demanded.

"Look! She's not breathing!!" Robbie pointed out.

"So instead of choking on a dick, she choked on her own boobs? Sweeeeet!!!" Cartman laughed.

"Shut up fatass!! What do we do now?! We've killed her!!! Oh my God we're gonna go to jail forever!!" Kyle ran around in a circle, panicked at the idea of having to explain this to his mother.

Cartman caught him, grabbing him by the shoulders.

"Kyle! Calm your Jew ass down! We are _not_ going to tell _anybody_ about his, okay?" He shook him a little. "Do you understand me?! _Nobody_!! So shut up and be quiet!"

Kyle pushed him away roughly. "What do you mean 'tell nobody'? People are gonna find out anyway! What choice do we have? We have to tell the police!!"

Stan chose this point to say something.

"She _did_ attack us, man. We could get away with it being self-defense." He said thoughtfully.

Cartman rounded on him. "Are you nuts, Stan? You don't know the courts like I do! The jury will eat_. You. __ALIVE__!!_ They will tear you apart, man! Our only hope is to keep this a secret. Now," he said, a dark look on his face, "we'll have to get rid of the body..."

"(Hey, guys, come here.)" Kenny called, drawing all their attention.

Robbie was squatting next to the slowly cooling corpse, staring thoughtfully down at the once-teacher. The others gathered around her, wondering what she had found.

"If you ask me," she stated, "I think that she was possessed."

"(Possessed?)" Kenny asked in his muffled voice. "(What kind of possessed?)"

"Like demon possessed. Look here." She pointed to a spot in the middle of the corpse's neck, where a '666' had been branded there, in triangular form.

"Wow, that must of been painful." Stan remarked.

"I'm certain it was. But, that wasn't there this morning, was it?" Robbie questioned. The others shook their heads in a negative.

"Exactly." Robbie said, satisfied. "This means that she got it when school ended. And that was too short a time for her to get it. And when she spoke, her voice sounded really strange, like all deep and shit. So, she _totally _was possessed by the devil." She finished calmly.

"Oh. Okay." Kyle shrugged off his guilt. Killing a human was one thing, but slaying a demon was okay. In the distance, police sirens could be heard coming closer, probably drawn by the still rising smoke from the school. Robbie motioned them to follow her into the nearby trees, and they had no sooner taken refuge in the deep shadows than three police cars raced into the open ground, almost exactly where they had stood in front of the dead teacher and school.

"That was close." Cartman sighed in relief.

"(Mm hmm.)" Kenny agreed. They turned around, and this time ran into Big Gay Al.

"Oh, hey Al. How, uh, how are you doing?" Stan asked hesitantly. Had he seen what they did? Al's eyes glowed red, and he spoke in a deep, ominous voice, like Mrs. Chokesondik.

"You will not escape me..." He intoned.

Kenny shrieked in fear and pointed. There, on Big Gay Al's neck, was a fiery '666'.

"_AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!_" They all screamed, running back in the opposite direction, toward the school. Big Gay Al started chasing them, procuring from somewhere a big kitchen cleaver.

Stumbling and still screaming bloody murder, they burst out back at the school, headed straight at the police. Al came after them, cleaver held high over his head.

"Help! HELP!! Big Gay Al is trying to kill us!!" Kyle yelled.

"AAAHHHH!!!" Everyone else screamed, trying to be helpful.

The policemen turned, seeing a group of kids being chased by a madman with a knife. Startled, they all drew their guns, shooting toward the madman. All of them being horrible shots, one bullet was lucky enough to hit Al in the leg, bringing him down. They rushed him, beating down his struggles with batons. An ambulance was called, and Al was loaded onto it, screaming and howling about "revenge" and other stuff. When the policemen finally got rid of him, they turned around, ready to call the kids' parents to come pick them up from their horrible traumatic event.

But the kids were gone.

* * *

"Holy shit!!" Cartman collapsed on Kyle's couch, sweating like the pig he was.

The others had sprawled down where they fell when they entered into Kyle's house. Kenny, who was regaining his breath on the other end of the couch, looked like he was close to having a heart attack. Kyle had tripped and fallen on the floor and didn't really feel like getting up, especially when Stan flopped down on Kyle's belly, trying to slow down his own heartbeat. Kyle's face flushed red, and not because of the exercise of running from school all the way home.

Robbie, noticing this small interchange, smiled, but only panted from her place against the wall, "I think we're safe now."

"But what the fuck was that!?!?" Cartman exclaimed angrily. "We're over here getting chased by fucking possessed people!!!"

"W-we don't know...a-any more than you do,...so just shut up..." Stan muttered from over Kyle's belly.

"What if it's the...Apocalypse?" Kyle ventured.

"(The Apocalypse?)" Kenny asked.

"Y'know...when the world's gonna end, all this shit starts happening." Stan explained in his very articulate way.

"Wait, I thought only Christians believed in that." Robbie asked, bemused.

"I dunno. I believe in it too, kinda." Kyle shrugged from the floor, which was a feat in itself when you're on the floor and someone's lying on your stomach and left arm.

"Ha..ha...l-little Jew fag questioning..his...aww, screw it." Cartman gave up. He still hadn't gotten his breath back. Too many Cheesy Puffs, he mused. The group laughed.

"It must really be the Apocalypse if Cartman can't rip on Kyle's religion." Stan laughed.

"Fuck off, faggot."

* * *

The next morning it was announced on the news that the school was closed down indefinitely until it could be rebuilt again. The cause of the fire that had destroyed it were still unknown, the news anchor said, but officials were still investigating it. It was also announced that a teacher from that school, Mrs. Chokesondik, had died on the school premises. The cause of death, apparently, was asphyxiation. However, no-one cared about that, or her death.

The group gathered later at Shakey's Pizza, discussing recent events over pizza.

"So, what do we do now?" Stan asked, munching on a particularly cheesy slice of pizza.

"Do? We _do _nothing, that's what. We got away with blowing up the school, so we don't have to worry about anything. Screw this shit and everything that fell into the toilet with it." Cartman stuffed pepperoni into his mouth.

"What?" asked Kyle irritably. "We blew up the school, killed a teacher-demon, got chased by a possessed Al, and you want us to _do nothing_?!?!" Kyle had worked himself up into a steam, and it was only at Stan's silent touch on his shoulder that he didn't punch Cartman in the face. He slouched down in his seat, munching moodily on his spinach pizza.

"What do you think, Kenny?" Robbie asked him, slurping a Coke.

"(Mdffsdbiphjievdmnjfhrphlnn)" He said, stuffing his face with three different pizza slices. They stared at him.

"Dude, even _I_ didn't get that." Stan said. Kenny chewed for a bit, swallowing before saying,

"(We don't even know why this stuff is happening. Oh and, thanks Robbie.)"

Robbie nodded once in acknowledgement. It had been her idea to have them meet up at Shakey's after seeing the state of Kenny's kitchen and the two frozen waffles he called 'breakfast'. Of course, this outing was on her treat, as Cartman wouldn't come any other way. She didn't mind though.

"Oh, I got it now." Stan nodded thoughtfully. "He's right, we don't even know the reason behind this stuff."

"Which is why we need to investigate, or something." Kyle said exasperatedly.

"Jesus Christ monkey balls!!! This is South Park, people!! An eight-year-old can get boob surgery here! A person from the real world is sitting _right in front of us_!!! This isn't that strange! Just fucking drop it!!" Cartman pounded the table for emphasis.

"Maybe we should visit Big Al. If he's better now, he might be able to tell us something." Stan offered.

"Fine." Cartman grumbled. "Where is he anyway?"

"(The news said he was the psychiatric hospital.)" Kenny said.

"Okay, let's go then." Stan got up, and the rest filed out after after him. Just as Robbie was going to exit her seat, however, her hand accidentally nudged her glass, and the thing tipped over, spilling her drink over the table and onto the floor.

"Aw, crap." She turned to the person next to her. "Kyle, do you mind helping me clean up?"

He shrugged his assent, gathering napkins from the napkin holder.

"You guys go on ahead, okay? We'll be right there." Robbie waved the others away, watching as the left the restaurant. She turned to help clean up the spilt drink.

"Y'know..." she said conversationally, "You shouldn't try to hide it so much; you're making it pretty obvious."

Kyle slowed in his cleaning, looking up at her.

"What do you mean?"

"C'mon, Kyle, I'm not an idiot. I _do_ have eyes, as well as a brain, which is more than your friends can boast." Robbie shook her head gently.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kyle said firmly. Robbie grabbed his arm before he could turn away from her.

"Kyle, I know you like Stan."

* * *

**A/N: **Cue the dramatic music!!!!! Muahahahaha!!!! Anyway.......I would love it if you guys left reviews....like seriously, the only reason I'm doing this is because my friends say this shit is good enough to publish (which I doubt), so I'd like some reviews or flames, even. Hell, i don't care if it's just one word, like hate, or love, or continue, or whatever!

Please, review?


	4. Uh Oh, He's Baaack!

Yes, I'm back. I think this chapter is longer than the others, but whatever. I'm not counting. And yes, I do spill some Christian shit about gayitude or whatever, but if I actually cared of someone was gay or not, do you think I'd be writing yaoi? No, exactly. God made you like you are, and ou're gay, then that's how he meant it to happen. No 'buts', 'ands' or 'ors'. So seriously, people need to top being so high and might about it. If everyone loves Romeo and Juliet, a morbid suicide story about two idiots, one being a thirteen year old girl, killing themselves to avoid their own problems, then why can't you accept two people of the same sex who really love one another? Exactly.

**Disclaimer: Me no ownie. *cries* yeah, yeah, whatever, call me a pussy, but you know ou would die if you owned South Park. Which I don't.**

I dedicate this to all my faithful readers...ah, who am I kidding? This is the only story I have that no-one seems to like. Goddammit, does everyone only want to see two guys madly fucking each other?!?! I'd write that if you want, but no-one tells me anything!!!! AAARRGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

* * *

"W-w-what?!?" Kyle stammered, blushing a furious red. Robbie rolled her eyes.

"I _told _you, I'm not stupid. Now, c'mon, tell me, since when?"

Kyle looked away guiltily. "I-I really don't know what you're talking about. You have it all wrong. I don't like Stan, he's my best friend!!"

"Jesus Christ, boy!" Robbie flared. "You wanna look me in the eye and tell me that bullshit?!"

Kyle struggled for words, looking for a way out of this mess; seeing none, he gave up. "Alright, fine...I-I..." He took a deep breath. "I like Stan."

Robbie patted him on the back. "See, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

Kyle slapped her hand away in sudden anger.

"Yes it is!! Don't tell me how hard it is, because you have no _idea_ how hard it is!! Every day I have to wake up and realize how disgusting I am, how I foul my family and friends just by existing! I'm committing the worst crime someone of my faith can commit! No matter what I do, or how I act, it doesn't change the fact that I have forsaken God and his laws just by liking one person! It doesn't change the fact that if my family found out, I would be thrown out of my home and left in disgrace! It's horrible! And, the worst part of it all is," he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "...I can't stop loving him."

Kyle felt the tears running down his face, but he didn't care. All this hidden, bottled-up emotion was pouring out and it felt good to have someone else know, even though it hurt inside.

Robbie looked around her. She hadn't planned on his anger, or his tears. _This wasn't the way it was supposed to go_, she cursed herself. It was a good thing that the entire building was empty, due to some unknown lucky force. Glancing at the crying Kyle, she could almost feel her heart break in two. She sighed.

"Kyle, I'm not a theologian, nor do I pretend to know God's thoughts. I'm a Catholic, and you're Jewish;both our religions have been fighting against each other since they were first believed in, even though they both have their roots in the same family. But one thing the holy texts all believe and agree on is that love and marriage is for a man and woman only, and that having homosexual 'urges' is wrong and defiles God's will. This has been an accepted truth for centuries, no matter what side of the world you live in. But in the Bible, God once said, 'Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born, I dedicated you.' God formed us, and thought of us, before any of our parents could even talk! If He knew you, and loved you, don't you think He would have taken away that love for Stan when He first thought of you, if it was so wrong?"

Robbie gently laid her hand on his head.

"The real truth is that it doesn't matter what your gender is. God may have given you free will, but He also gave you love, love for one specific person, love for the one person who would make you happy, and who _you_ would make happy. You can deny that love all you want, that's what your free will is for, but love is God's gift for when we need it the most, when your darkest time is upon you and you have no one else to turn to. Why would you deny that which God gave you? And God _did_ give you it, He didn't give it to you because He hated you or because He didn't care, or even because He wanted to make an example out of you, but because He knew you and everything in your life and He saw that was the person who would truly love you and care for you. God wants you to be happy, and in all His infinite wisdom, do you think He would be mistaken in giving only _you_ your love?"

Kyle looked up at her with watery, yet astounded eyes. Robbie pulled him into a hug, her heart fit to burst.

"Kyle," she whispered. "Don't you ever let go of this love. God gave it to you, and He knew what He was doing. If you reject it now, if you throw it away, it will never be the same again. You'll never truly be able to love another, because you've denied your real love. Don't ever let it go. Keep it close, nurture it, and let it grow, but never let it go. You'll always regret it."

She pulled away after a while, wiping her eyes. She smiled at Kyle. "You feel better, now?"

"Yeah," he gave her a shy smile. He had never thought of it that way before, but now that he did, he felt a great peace settle over him, and the anger in his heart melted away, leaving him light and tranquil. And he knew that he had finally felt the touch of God.

"How do you know all this stuff, Robbie? No one's ever said anything like that before." Kyle asked wonderingly. She tapped her head first, then her chest.

"God gave me an open mind, and an open heart. Sometimes I haven't used them like I should, but they're still there. He gave me a very small piece of the truth, and I intend to use it to the extent of my power."

Kyle suddenly frowned. "You won't tell Cartman, will you? If he finds out, he'll tell everyone, and then all Hell'll break loose."

"Of course not. It'll just be between us two." Robbie grinned.

Kyle relaxed, then suddenly frowned again. "But...you kissed Stan. Do you like him too, or was that 'cuz you were happy?"

"No, I like him."

Kyle looked horrified.

"And I know he likes me."

Kyle's face went white.

"B-but all th-that stuff you said....'bout love..a-and never letting go..." he sputtered.

"Of course, I don't really want him or anything." Robbie finished. Kyle looked stunned.

"Wha...?"

Robbie patted his cheek, giggling. "I already have someone I like, back home, and besides, Stan's a little too dense for me, y'know what I mean?" She leaned in closer to him. "You're much more cuter, and you have more brains than he does. I like my guys cute and with a bit of sense, and you're just my type. I'd much more rather go after you than Stan."

Kyle was reduced to nothing so much as a stuttering ball of blushing mush. Robbie laughed.

"Come on, lover boy, the others are probably wondering why the hell we're taking so long."

Kyle looked down at the table. Didn't they still have to clean the table? A clean sparkly surface met his surprised eyes, probably more clean now then when they first arrived. Robbie left a couple of bills on the table, as a tip, and Kyle silently followed her out into the street, walking in the direction of the psychiatric hospital. After that particular heart-to-heart conversation, Kyle happened to have a question on his tongue, and after a moment of indecision, decided to ask it.

"Hey, Robbie...do you miss home?"

Robbie glanced at him, then turned back to look at the street.

"Not yet, but, I've only been here for three days, so it's not like its been forever." She paused, looking up into the sky before continuing.

"Besides, I'm going home soon, so it doesn't matter."

"What!?" Kyle exclaimed. "Whad'ya mean?"

Just then, three familiar figures could be seen ahead, and Robbie put a finger to her lips.

"Let's continue this conversation later, okay?"

Tugging on his arm, they ran the short distance to their friends, joining them quickly. Kyle glanced at Stan, then back at Robbie, who was watching him with a smile on her face. Upon looking at each other, Robbie and Kyle broke out in giggles. Stan stared at them, bemused.

"What're you guys laughing about?"

The two confidantes gave each other sly grins and burst out laughing.

"What? What'd I say?" Stan asked, confused beyond all measure, making them laugh all the harder.

"Leave the fags alone, man." Cartman said in a world-weary voice. "They have to be fags together."

"Wait." Robbie said through giggles. "How can we be fags if he's a guy and I'm a girl?"

"'Cuz Kyle isn't a guy." Cartman responded matter-of-factly.

"Aww, shut up fatty." Kyle said, trying to be serious.

Walking on, they came upon the crazy farm, also known as the psychiatric hospital. Entering it's wide double doors, they received directions from the front desk to Big Gay Al's room, going through a door into a brightly-lit hallway. People of all kinds walked slowly around them, some blankly staring, others twitching, still more muttering to themselves. Most stared at them as they passed, silent and watchful. Kyle nervously looked around.

"Guys, I don't feel right here...this place brings back bad memories..." He said, glancing around.

"(They look like freaking zombies, man.)" Kenny said suspiciously. Cartman nodded his assent, as Stan asked fearfully, "Maybe we should come back later...what do you think Robbie?"

Robbie looked over at them, seemingly the epitome of calm. "Don't worry," she whispered. "It's just like dogs; if you don't show fear, they won't hurt you."

"They've killed Kenny for no reason at all." Stan pointed out.

"Okay," she admitted. "But Kenny's a special case. Besides, Kyle's been here before, overnight too, and he's still super smart."

"Screw the damn zombies," Cartman burst out suddenly, "If a stupid Jew can walk in here, I can do it better!" And with that, he puffed out his broad flabby chest, a look of utter determination, or horrible constipation, on his face. Robbie stifled a giggle, and threw her arm around his shoulders. His face reddened slightly, but that was the only sign that he gave to her approval.

"Well, I've been here before, so I can totally do this!" Kyle said, squaring his shoulders, resolve burning in his eyes. Stan just shrugged.

"If the wannabe-whale can do it..." He was followed by Kenny, who only raised his hands in defeat. Newly raising their brands of courage, the group strode forward, until the reached their destined door. There their bravado faded somewhat, as Kenny hesitantly knocked on the plain white door. What kind of monster would the meet beyond this door?

"Come iiiin..." A high falsetto voice called. The group glanced doubtfully at each other. Well, he _sounded_ alright. Still suspicious, they stepped inside.

Big Gay Al lay on a white bed, strapped to it with wide leather bands, grinning cheerfully. They all sighed in relief as they drew closer.

"Hi, Al." They chorused.

"Hey, I'm great, thanks for asking!!!" He said, in only the way he could. It seemed he really _was_ back.

"Al, you were possessed by the devil! How do you feel? Do you remember anything from it?" Kyle questioned excitedly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, guys, but I can't give you much! All I remember is taking a lovely walk in the woods, then waking up with my leg hurting worse than a bucking bronco! Gosh, I've been a bad egg, haven't I?" He asked in a sorry tone. The group moaned in disappointment as they heard this. It seemed their only lead was gone.

"Hey guys, can you loosen my straps?" Al laughed at their suddenly suspicious faces. "Oh, come on you silly geese, I only want to go pee; bedpans aren't very comfortable y'know! And these straps are tighter than my boyfriend's pants!"

Kenny, fulfilling all the idiotic tendencies of a human being, came closer, unbinding one of the straps.

"Wait, Kenny," Robbie said suddenly. Kenny glanced at her. "I don't think that's a good id-"

With a tremendous force, Al snapped the leather apart, ripping the bindings on his legs. His eyes glowed red, and the 666 tattoo burned with a brighter intensity.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" He roared. "I KNEW I WOULD FIND YOU!!!"

* * *

**A/N:** Cue the dramatic music!! Dun dun duuuuunn!!!!! Finally we're getting somewhere here!!! Jesus, it's taking so long!!! Anyway, some Cartman awesomeness coming up later, for you people with fat fetishes XDDDD. Nah, really, he's not that bad, just.....a jerk. But I like him anyway. Where would South Park be without our lovable fatass?

And Kyle's admitted his love for Stan!! Yes, I love me some Style, so that's gonna be in here again for a while....if you don't like it get out!! Anyway, review please, and be on the lookout for more updates!

Remember, the faster and more you review, the faster I update. Just a little incentive for you guys. Although, it doesn't really seem to be working, but whatever. Like I care what you guys think. (Well, yes, I do, obviously, but I'm trying to seem independent here, not some sniveling writer totally dependent on the opinions of others. Which I am. XDDDD) Laterz people!!!

This is NightingaleLost, signing off!! (God, that was so geeky.)


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